Friday, September 25, 2009

hate, pity, compassion (sexism, disablism)

a new movie is out. it's called i hope they serve beer in hell or some bullshit.

i don't need to get into how obviously terrible it is. don't read about it, don't watch it, i say this for your own sanity. i have certainly read enough to need some serious self-therapy. deep breaths. repeating to myself "this does not signify the lowest point in human history".

i am trying to do mental metamorphoses: the hate boils up, "i hate this man who did this, i hate what he says about women and people with disabilities", but i try to turn it into pity: "this man, and the women who support him, have deep psychological issues and their lives will never rise above the lowest form of barbarism" and i can bring true pity for them out of my mind. but compassion? compassion is so difficult.

but how can i ever talk about compassion if i can't have it for all people, no matter what terrible things they do?

this is a bourgeois white guy, the perfect storm of oppressor-hood, personified. he feels no responsibility, he feels no purpose for his life. he is a robot.

he makes me want to hate men.

but i am able-bodied and i vehemently support people with disabilities. i am many things that people could blame me for, because of my associations with oppressor identities, and i can't judge all men by the actions of the worst of them. men can be compassionate.

men can be compassionate. keep saying that to yourself when you read rape statistics or read about this movie. there are good men out there.

this guy really hates people with disabilities. lots of people do. and it can come in the form of pity or stupid jokes. either way, it's hate, it's dehumanization. but people who are comfortable with their hate are truly deserving of pity. i hate/pity this man.

people who are different, who struggle, are lucky. i guess pierre teilhard de chardin said we are spiritual beings on a human journey. our spiritual aspect needs challenge to develop. humans who have it easy, who can oppress other people out of negligence or active hate, are thoroughly disadvantaged and are pitiful. unless they learn.

4 comments:

  1. 'people who are comfortable with their hate are truly deserving of pity'--wonderful observation.
    i am and have been struggling with this idea so much: that we must have compassion for our oppressors aadi aadi aadi (sorry, the hindi for etc. seemed appropriate for some reason ;P). i agree, but i think it is also so necessary not to allow our compassion for those in power to 1) recenter them as the focus in conversations that we explicitly design so that for once, we are the focus; and 2) let our understanding of them make us gloss over the reality of institutionalized oppression. basically, i think it can be dangerous to focus the majority of our efforts on cultivating compassion for those in power because we risk what freire cautioned about so vigorously in pedgagogy: internalizing the ideology of the oppressor, and his/her methodology as well. what do you think about this?

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  2. I have no idea what movie you are talking about. That's one of the many plusses of not watching television with commercials. But if you think that movie is fucked up, how about RapeLay, the Japanese video game where the object is to rape women until they come to like it?

    There aren't many things in the world that make me want to reach for sharp scissors.

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  3. i don't think we can really say we've risen above oppression until we feel true compassion toward our oppressors. this means we're recognizing the struggle for what it is: violence/heirarchy versus compassion/equality.

    encouragement of, or the lack of resistance to oppression can't by definition be compassionate to the oppressor or the victim. full condemnation and active resistance against injustice in all its forms is imperative to living a compassionate life. but i think we only render ourselves impotent when we become lost in our anger (which is not compassionate).

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  4. ... because i often find myself drowning in my anger, and i feel small and powerless at those moments. like i'm stuck in a cage clawing at the bars.

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