the y chromosome is significantly smaller than the x. is this reasonable evidence that women are better than men? no. so why is it that i often feel that guys, the vast majority of whom are taller than me, judge my intelligence by my size/gender?
that's not exactly the right illustration. i just get this feeling that while my inclination is to try to be reasonable and listen closely to the person i'm speaking with, often straight men take this to mean i'm not really sure of what i'm saying. that i'm being cute.
is this feeling justified in a majority of cases? is it entirely a delusion on my part? am i assuming the worst of the straight men i interact with? i've had too many experiences in which the straight man i was speaking with had a different agenda that i think i've become better at spotting them.
how sad it is that people rarely engage in meaningful conversation. and sadder still that the genders can't exchange ideas honestly without there being some alternate motive. the honest exchange of ideas must include the full participation of all parties involved.
but as women, what is our method of trust regarding straight men? we have to be discerning in some way. the ears of others are not in our control, only our own mouths. so what information are they hearing, and how different is it from what we intended?
i want to be perceived as intelligent, not cute, when i'm discussing serious matters, which i would rather discuss more often. but intelligent is synonymous with off-putting when the society is anti-intellectual.
good night
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hmm, i think you make a lot of very good points, and i'm glad you shared this because our experiences as 'out' feminists are all different! mine is of being thought of as too intellectual, which translates into 'controlling, bitchy, uppity, aggressive'. lol. funny translations, but anyway. i'm sorry for your frustration--i understand when you write that so many straight men seem to have ulterior motives when they speak to women; though on the upside, i've noticed that men in grad school/over 25 or 30, are normal human beings and actually just want to be friends! :D
ReplyDeletethat's exactly it: intelligent equals bitchy. in an anti-intellectual society, shooting the messenger is standard operating procedure.
ReplyDeletei'm glad you're having positive interactions with "men in grad school/over 25/30" but my experiences have been disappointing with that exact demographic.
funny then, that i'm finding solace in hegel and other philosophers who also fit into the old, well educated male group.