the more i do, the less i want to say. i am seeing a sharper view of reality in my new position in the after-school program, but when i come home all i want to do is talk about other things, to not relate what i'm seeing to a broader picture, to watch the leaves change, to play guitar, to move on. i realize that i complained so much before because of my uncertainty, and now that i am more certain in general about things, whether they are good or bad, i complain less. i speak less. i write less.
but what i do say, i want it to count. and what i read and observe has meaning when it didn't before. i don't want to waste my time. kant would call that liberation. (at the risk of using excessive profundity... i'm only using this blog as i would use sleep: to organize my thoughts and make permanent certain neural paths)
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